Archive - Humor RSS Feed

Success Is…

September 16, 2010 in Humor with 4 Comments

Success can be different things to different people: a published book, a good marriage, home mortgage paid off, 5,000 friends on Facebook, a dream job, a bunch of rental properties, own a company or corporation, grandkids, worldwide travel, multiple homes, etc.

That’s what’s so great about being human—we have choices.

And it seems age can also be a factor…

At age   4 success is… Not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is… Having friends.

At age 17 success is… Having a driver’s license.

At age 35 success is… Having money.

At age 50 success is… Having money.

At age 70 success is… Having a driver’s license.

At age 75 success is… Having friends.

At age 80 success is… Not piddling in your pants.

So what is success for you?

Spelling Communication

May 4, 2010 in Communication, Humor with 2 Comments

A friend of mine shared this story…

“Whenever I talk with Sam, my husband, about something I don’t want Jason who is 6 years old to know about, I’ll spell a word. Inevitably, Jason asks what that spells, and I usually answer him, “If I wanted you to know, I wouldn’t have spelled it.”

The other day Sam offered me some fish crackers. I thought they tasted odd, so I declined. Not wanting to plant ideas in Jason’s head so he would still eat them, I told Sam they tasted like “c-a-r-d-b-o-a-r-d.”

Apparently, I spelled it a little too fast, because Sam asked, “What?” Immediately, Jason replied to him “If she wanted you to know, she wouldn’t have spelled it.”

It was perfect timing, and, of course, it made perfect sense to Jason, so he didn’t understand why Sam and I were laughing so hard. It was priceless!”

Proofreading: Is it important?

March 17, 2010 in Book Creation, Humor with 0 Comments

These bloopers actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.

girl laughingThe Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.. Continue Reading…